Hate Salcombe

There’s no denying it, Salcombe is an awful place to visit with its beautiful beaches making you question every other coastal destination you go to afterwards. You’ll really suffer with the locally caught seafood and children simply won’t have time for Peppa Pig. How will you cope without a corporate gym where you run on the spot with MTV as your sole distraction? Take heed people, take heed…

The beaches

We’re sorry, but you’re going to feel disappointed every time you go to another seaside resort – Salcombe will totally ruin it for you. The problem is that when the sun shines in Salcombe and you’re standing on one of its golden sandy beaches and looking out over the emerald waters, it is absolutely stunning and beats the Mediterranean. Don’t blame us if you go on holiday elsewhere and think – I wish I were in Salcombe – you have been warned.

No departure lounge

Sadly you’re likely to miss out on the flying experience by coming on holiday to Salcombe rather than abroad. Normally you might enjoy a delightful queue to check-in, the muggy departure lounge, strange airline food, turbulence, ear-popping and transfers. Think of those poor people that simply pack up the car, lock the house and drive straight to Salcombe without experiencing those little gems.

The food

If you’re looking for shrimp pulled up from the putrid rivers of Phnom Penh, a case of Delhi Belly in Mumbai or even an unwashed lettuce salad à la Madrid then you will be sorely disappointed when you go out for a meal in Salcombe. It’s likely you’ll find frighteningly fresh seafood landed in Salcombe including lobster, crab and line caught sea bass. And definitely don’t go to The Winking Prawn if someone mistakenly recommends it – that dressing up box is just too much fun to take whilst eating freshly prepared fruits de mer.

No time for the iPad

We know – you’d love for your kids to be sat on their bottoms watching Peppa Pig or playing Candy Crush on an iPad. Instead they will be filling their time running around the beach, building sandcastles, making dams, rock-pooling, crabbing along Victoria Quay, swimming in the sea, visiting Cranch’s sweetshop and going to play in the park. Disaster all round especially when they fall asleep so quickly at bedtime.

The exercise

We’re sure that you would rather spend half the afternoon in the gym running on the spot staring at MTV or a full length reflection of yourself on the mirrored wall as you huff and puff away. But the truth is, in Salcombe you’re going to have to put up with the views and the many options for walking or running along dramatic coastlines. Or worse, you might even have to try out surfing, kayaking, paddle boarding, windsurfing or sailing. Even your yoga classes will be disastrous – you may have to practice your downward dog on a paddle board.

There, we’ve said it. If you dare to come to Salcombe knowing all of the above, you could always have a look at our luxury Salcombe accommodation and plan a terrible trip!

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